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Publisher's Note: You can get this and 3 other true stories of growing up with a BPD parent in the combined author book (at a heavily discounted price): "Borderline Personality: Growing Up With a BPD Mother or Dad - Our Childhood From Hell (Four Author Antholgy)"
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Everyone has a story and people that play a part in that story. My story is about my childhood from hell, with a toxic, BPD mother. This is just a short “mental photo album” containing some mental snap shots of my life, and a key player in my story is my mother. It has been difficult piecing together these small still frames and pictures and seeing them in black and white (ie - in words), knowing that others will soon read them, as these are mostly things that one wouldn't exactly go around bragging about. However, I know that raising awareness for Borderline Personality Disorder, and letting others know that this is a hard illness to deal with, is an important thing to do.
No matter what, I love my mother because she is my mother, but that never made it less difficult, my having to live with her illness and the consequences of it. Her illness was an unnatural disaster wreaking havoc on an entire household, causing dysfunction and chaos, and leaving people hurt in the wake of her tirades. I was one of those people and, to this day, I deal with the repercussions of her illness and I believe I will always have some leftover “issues” due to this.
There are a lot of biographies and stories on the market, and I know that a lot of them sound the same. Mine may have some of the same characteristics, but I feel mine is different, for so many reasons. I know, too, that some people sit down and attempt to write their stories in a chronological fashion. I tried that, but found it extraordinarily difficult to do. When I sat down, I realized that when I think about my childhood, or my life in general, I don’t remember them on a timeline, so to speak. I remember them in pictures, snap shots, still frames, or even short little videos. So, as I write, I will jump from time to time, and from different points in my life to others, because that is how I remember the horror and the chaos of my childhood and early adult life. I feel that most people remember life this way, too.
Come with me now on my little hell ride, won't you? If you are looking for validation of your own horror story of a childhood (or even to feel blessed that you were lucky enough to have a good one), you have come to the right place.
- Sales Rank: #450653 in eBooks
- Published on: 2014-01-07
- Released on: 2014-01-07
- Format: Kindle eBook
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
So many common factors
By Caleb
I too felt like you were writing about my childhood. Especially the part about Christmas being traumatic. I saw the Christmas tree thrown into the yard more than once. I was estranged from my mother 10 years ago. I recently made contact with her when my younger sister made the decision to keep her children from my mother because of her manipulative behavior with them. She threatened suicide to people on fb who contacted me. (Of course now she claims they were being dramatic and she's unfriended them). As angry as I am at her I hoped that I could get her help and maybe my sister would give a little if my mother would take some responsibility. This backfired horribly. I made the mistake of sending her a message on Mother's Day and as you with bpd mothers know Mother's Day is very traumatic. She sent me messages accusing me of turning her grandchildren against her (my son and my two brothers also do not speak to her). Yesterday she sent me messages telling me she will take my sister to court for money she's owed unless she lets her see the kids. So today I was seeking out something to remind myself Its not my shortcomings that prevent us from having a relationship. So thank you for sharing this information.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
I Could Totally Relate to Her Story!
By Bobbifer2001
Natalie Moon's childhood sounded so much like mine that it was therapeutic to read and realize I wasn't alone and I didn't imagine such behaviors. We both had mothers incapable of nurturing their own children because they were so absorbed in their own dramas and hurts, and growing up in a household with mothers with BPD is literally like walking on eggshells. I remember being slapped across the face until my nose bled, my mother flashing a male childhood friend in our living room, telling me I was pregnant after giving me a test when I had never had sex, and other horrors that stay in my head to this day. Now in my 40's, I realize I'm never going to have the mother-daughter relationship I've always wanted, and like the author writes, my mother would never admit to or apologize for any of these actions. Sometimes it is best to just let the dream go of having a close parental relationship and focus on making the necessary changes for your own children so it doesn't carry on.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Thank you for telling your story.
By Sonjiah
This book sent me through a myriad of emotions beginning with tears and ending with a sense of relief. Through the first five chapters, I thought you were writing about my mother. I laughed when you talked about the therapist asking you not to bring your mother back. I had the same experience. Today is Mother's Day and it's always a rough day for me because it has been three years since I talked to my mother and she lives 8 minutes away. I was feeling guilty, which I tend to do sometimes, but reading this book helped remind me that I'm doing the best thing for me. I'm ok with never talking to her again. Ironically, I'm a therapist who is working with a client with BPD and I think I will recommend this book to her because it has been very difficult to help her understand that her behavior negatively impacts her daughter. Thank you for sharing your story and please hang in there as you continue with your recovery.
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